Do You Have to Succeed Before You Can Enjoy an Ordinary Day?

Do you keep telling yourself you’ll enjoy life once your income is higher or your career is more stable? If reaching that goal will take a long time, how do you plan to spend the days in between?

In her September 24 livestream, Ququ recalled a journey of about two to three hours from Haining to Shanghai. She and her friends found games to play and ways to interact, bringing enjoyment to an ordinary journey. She used the memory to discuss why happiness need not be reserved entirely for the point when wealth or an ultimate achievement has been reached.

Even before you reach a goal, an ordinary day can hold something worth doing. That does not require abandoning your goals or being happy all the time.

The time before you arrive is already part of your life

In Ququ’s recollection, the journey itself was not a financial or career achievement. It was simply time she and her friends had together, with room to interact.

She was willing to find ways to play and enjoy everyday life. But this reflects her own experience and preferences. It cannot become a leisure routine everyone must copy, or proof that happiness can always be controlled through willpower.

MELODY’s reading of this discussion is that the time spent waiting for a result can also include activities you want to take part in. For Ququ, that meant interacting with friends. What suits you still depends on your interests, energy, and circumstances.

You do not have to prove that enjoying this time will improve your productivity or career. It can simply be a part of life you want to take part in.

Some things need to wait; others may be worth reconsidering

Income, work, and caring responsibilities can place real limits on a person’s choices. Some activities cannot be arranged yet, and those constraints need to be acknowledged.

But you can also notice whether small things that are already possible have been postponed alongside a distant goal. Does enjoyment have to mean a major trip or an expensive purchase? If something is within reach today, is it still being repeatedly left for later?

This is the question MELODY draws from the discussion: distinguish the conditions you still lack from those that are already in place but have not been given room in your day.

External research examines immediate experiences and long-term goals as a distinct question. Bernecker and Becker’s research discusses the ability to experience enjoyment in relation to well-being, and interference from thoughts about long-term goals. It offers background, not evidence of the outcome of Ququ’s personal experience. Nor does it establish that a particular way of playing can treat psychological problems. Research source

Long-term plans can keep moving forward. Experiences that are possible now can also have a place.

Make room for one small thing without setting a happiness target

Think of something small you have wanted to do recently but have not done. Before asking yourself to relax, look at what is preventing it.

If time, money, physical energy, or care arrangements are missing, acknowledge the constraint. Being unable to do it now does not mean you do not know how to enjoy life. You do not need to take on an unaffordable expense to prove that you do.

If the conditions are largely in place, look for a space in your current schedule that can accommodate it. After trying it, notice whether you liked it and whether it suited your state that day. You do not have to feel happy straight away.

This is MELODY’s practical suggestion for organizing everyday life, with no guarantee of an outcome. You can try something else if you do not enjoy it, or leave it unscheduled when you are tired. An experience you hoped to recover does not need to become another performance target.

Ququ’s recollection draws attention to the time before arrival. Long-term goals still deserve care, and so does how you spend today.

Perhaps a small thing you have been postponing has already come to mind. If you want to discuss it with Ask Melody, start with why it keeps being left for later, then review your goals, real constraints, and possible arrangements. Whether to try it, and how, is still up to you, in light of your circumstances and how you feel. There is no promise that it will make you happy.